Let The Cannons Fly 4 Review // Sat 20th May 2023
By Harry Miller
It was time to let the cannons fly for the fourth time and this occasion would be more explosive than ever. A stacked card with every title on the line set up what was one of the greatest nights of wrestling in 2023.
Pre-Show: Jonah Phoenix vs Danny Black
Two competitors both making their NORTH debuts, both out to make a claim to being on the main card in the future.
As all good fights do, this one started with a lot of hair pulling and insult shouting. Early aggression from Phoenix was countered by the high-speed evasion and offence from Black.
The two exchanged kicks and chops until both had chests redder than Taylor Swift’s fourth album.
Phoenix soon took control, beginning to target the back of Black with a backbreaker to the ring apron followed by even more backbreakers back inside the ring.
Danny Black may have been riding solo but he made a boyband-esque comeback with a massive springboard manoeuvre before delivering a picture-perfect second-rope moonsault.
Just when things looked like they were going well for Black, the dastardly Phoenix distracted the ref with tape based shenanigans before striking his opponent with a low blow. One DDT later and Phoenix had his hand raised as the victor.
Main Show
The main show started in the usual way with Tom Campbell firing up the crowd but that fire was soon extinguished as it was Tory time.
The Landed Gentry interrupted proceedings to complain about their exclusion from tonight’s Scramble match. They may not have been invited to the Scramble but a pissed-off Rory Coyle was on his way to the ring and he looked ready to turn Knox and Benji into a scrambled mush.
Coyle wanted a match against the Landed Gentry and for once, the Tories (Benji in particular) gave the people what they wanted under one condition-Coyle had to find a partner. This match would take place a little bit later on but who would the sick boy pick to be his partner?
NORTH Tag Team Championship: Boisterous Behaviour (C) vs Lykos Gym vs Crashboat
For the first time in NORTH history, the tag belts were being defended in a triangle tag match and what a match it was.
Lykos Gym came to the ring escorted by the delightfully devilish Gene Munny, Boisterous Behaviour came to the ring with a pizza named after them and Crashboat were accompanied by the NORTH faithful firmly behind them.
The match had an electric pace from the first bell and didn’t let up one bit. The early portion of the match saw the quicker member of each duo (Leon Slater, Jack Bandicoot and Kid Lykos II) tussle in an insane display of agility. It didn’t take long before every member of the match was in the ring delivering back-and-forth tandem offence.
Lykos Gym’s ace up their sleeve, Gene Munny, soon made his presence known by lifting Slater above his head and throwing him over the bar. This incredible feat of strength led to a period of dominance from Kid Lykos I and II, isolating Bandicoot first and then taking advantage of Jake Silver.
When all hope seemed lost, a resurgent Leon Slater emerged from the shadows and mounted a monstrous comeback of springboard assaults before hitting a huge, elevated blockbuster from Man Like DeReiss’ shoulders.
Each team hit the other with a series of devastating double-team manoeuvres that would have the following pinfall broken up by the third team. It was clear it would take something dastardly to find a way to end this match.
Kid Lykos took advantage of a distraction to hit numerous low blows to Man Like DeReiss before the villainous Gene Munny hit a fantastic dive over the top rope, taking out the rest of the field.
The Lykos Gym took Jake Silver in the ring and hit one last move to end the match and become the second ever NORTH Tag Team Champions. Not to be left out, Gene Munny went to the back and came out with a third NORTH Tag Team Championship which is well deserved after his performance in this match.
Raven Creed vs Natalie Sykes
The debuting Raven Creed came up against Natalie Sykes who had won her own debut match last time out.
This battle of the prodigies started with a cheap shot from Creed followed by utter brutality in the way of finger biting, limb stomping and a massive second rope DDT.
Despite the vicious beatdown, there was still fight left in Sykes who delivered a massive superkick to break the chain attacks of Creed. Showing a brutal side of her own, Sykes begun to cave Creed’s chest in with a cluster of consecutive kicks to her kneeling opponent.
In an attempt to escape the clutches of Sykes, Creed was reaching out for help and ended up ripping the turnbuckle pad off before getting caught in a tightly applied armbar. It didn’t take long for Creed to tap out but the ref was too distracted by the exposed turnbuckle to realise.
The devious Creed took advantage of the commotion and hit her opponent with a cataclysmic piledriver that would have put most opponents out for a three count but the resilient Skyes could not be put down.
The 21st Century Liability fought back and hit Creed with a second rope codebreaker to win the match.
Natalie Sykes is now 2-0 in main roster competition and is showing no signs of slowing down.
Joe Wade and Joe Kessler vs Myles Kayman and Vusyk
Two teams made up of four of the hardest hitting men in the country could only end in a loud and furious clash.
The early stages of the match saw at least a few ribs be shattered from Kessler’s massive chops and Wade’s bone-cracking kicks.
It took a huge springboard uppercut from Kayman to get his team back into the match. Vusyk then joined in the attack with a barrage of uppercuts of his own to Wade before inviting Kayman in to take part in this uppercut party.
After a period of double teaming Wade, a fired up Kessler entered the match to take out Vusyk and absolutely batter the Golden Boy in the corner. Both Joe’s were soon in the ring and threw knee strikes to lay out both opponents.
Joe Wade rose above and delivered a double foot stomp from the top rope to win the match for his team. Kessler and Wade are now 1-0 in tag competition and will have their sights on the new tag champions.
NORTH Ultraviolent Championship: Clint Margera (C) vs Gary Jay
The Head Cat came into the house of the Deathmatch Devil to try and pry the NORTH Ultraviolent Championship away, but the attempt would come at the cost of some of his nine lives.
This match should have came with a pair of ear protectors for each member of the crowd because some of the chops being delivered by both men were as loud as your uncles’ Hawaiian shirt.
It didn’t take long for weaponry to be introduced as a ladder entered the fray to act as a landing spot for a hellacious Margera powerbomb that almost left Gary Jay broken in two.
The defending champion continued the onslaught of destruction, piledriving Jay onto the ring apron (the hardest part of the ring) which would have easily ended a normal match but the brutality was only getting started.
The two titans of violence traded chops until they both had chests that were black and blue and red all over. Gary Jay used his cat-like agility to avoid a Margera attack and send him head first into a steel chair set up in the corner.
Jay stuck with the chair related shenanigans and built a structure of chairs in the centre of the ring but alas, the Head Cat was hoisted by his own petard. Margera reversed the Jay assault and hit the feline fighter with a falcon arrow through the chair structure.
The chair related violence wouldn’t end there with Margera slamming Jay from the top rope onto a pile of chairs before covering the Head Cat for a successful three count.
Clint Margera was victorious in his first title defence in what will undoubtedly be a long and bloody reign.
The Landed Gentry vs Rory Coyle and Mystery Partner
The Tories and the Sick Boy were in the ring awaiting the mystery partner to even the odds. Coyle was outnumbered by conservatives and he needed help. He needed a hero. A local hero.
Joe Hendry was here once more with a signature music video that poked fun at Peter Griffin and emo Mr Bean who are also known as the Landed Gentry. A team of Hendry and Coyle was certainly unexpected but could have a plethora of great team names, Viral Video Nasty would be my pick.
After the bell rang, the Tories did what they do best and that’s being despicable and getting away with it. Knox and Benji continuously attacked Coyle in two-on-one situations behind the referee’s back but the dastardly tactics backfired once the Sick Boy had his way.
Coyle trapped both of the Gentry before biting the fingers of Knox then Benji and then biting the nose of Knox then Benji before biting the fingers of both at once. Once Coyle had finished his munch break, he tagged in the Impact Digital Media Champion who burst into the match in explosive fashion.
Hendry hit hard and fast, almost hurting the Tories as much as the recent election had.
The momentum of the inspiration was cut short as Benji hit a low blow while the ref’s back was turned. Coyle came back into the match and chopped Knox and Benji like they were onions that were to be sautéed.
Rory Coyle delivered his signature air raid crash that had won him so many titles in the past. Before he could go for the pin, entrance music hit and out came Ace Matthews. This unexpected interruption was enough for Benji to spike Coyle with a DDT and secure a win for the Landed Gentry.
This makes Benji only the third man to pin Rory Coyle in NORTH over the past four years with the other two being the Ultraviolent Champion Clint Margera and NORTH Champion Liam Slater.
NORTH Championship: Liam Slater (C) vs Jet Martial
It was time for one of the greatest competitors in the promotion’s history to issue an open challenge for the top prize in NORTH and it was accepted by one of the future top stars, Jet Martial.
A match that started with a handshake didn’t take long to become a sound barrier breaking strike exchange with Martial getting the early upper hand, hitting the champion with an array of solid kicks and chops.
Slater didn’t allow the initial assault to go on for too long, using his veteran expertise to ground Martial with a devastating dragon screw. The post-modern professional wrestler continued to target the leg, clearly having a submission victory in mind.
Martial withstood the pressure and returned fire with a huge overhand punch followed by a pummelling slam that was enough to get a two count. Liam came back with a massive slam of his own that also resulted in a two count.
A late flurry of offence from the challenger that was topped off with a dive to the outside made it look like hope was not lost but Slater managed to hook in his signature single-leg Boston crab submission to tap out Martial.
There was a great show of respect shown after the match with Slater demanding that Jet Martial’s music be played. Slater now has become the first competitor to reach 10 wins in the post-pandemic NORTH world.
Scramble 4: Thunderstruck
Eight competitors. One opportunity to main event the biggest show of the year. It was time for the Scramble and this Scramble promised to be more Scrambley than ever.
The first entrant was making his second appearance of the night but this time, Ace Matthews was scheduled to be here. Before Matthews could get too far into his speech, the crowd erupted in what was one of the loudest reactions I have ever heard as Amir Jordan’s music hit.
The crowd was so raucous as a result of Jordan’s appearance that Matthews couldn’t hear Coyle sneak up behind him. The Sick Boy got revenge for earlier in the night by battering Ace Matthews with a kendo stick, allowing Jordan to get the pin and the first elimination of the night.
Former tag-team champion Man LikeDeReiss was the next entrant who had only ever been pinned once in NORTH which was in his debut match. The action was fast and furious with MLD getting the upper hand by running over Jordan at speed and hitting an explosive snap suplex.
The next entrant was no other than the only man who has been able to pin DeReiss, Will Kroos. The Headline made swift work of taking out both men, using Jordan as a projectile weapon to take out DeReiss.
Once the ring was clear, Kroos awaited his next opponent who was the man who eliminated Kroos in the recent NCL Cup: Jack Bandicoot.
The big bad bodyslammer of dads wasted no time in wiping out Bandicoot with a huge boot to his head. Kroos clearly posed a King Kong sized threat in this match which is why Jordan and DeReiss had to team up to take down the beast with tandem dropkicks.
Gene Munny was next to join the field but the new tag champions, Lykos Gym were the only people on the entrance ramp. This wolf-based distraction was enough for the dastardly Munny to sneak into the ring and hit DeReiss, Jordan and Bandicoot with his newly acquired tag belt.
Out came the next competitor, Leon Slater who immediately made an impact, taking out Munny with an aerial assault. Bandicoot tried a high-risk manoeuvre of his own onto Kroos but the risk did not pay off as the Headline caught the flying man and hit the Kroosifiction to make Bandicoot the second eliminated competitor.
Slater and DeReiss delivered their signature tandem offence to take out the goliath threat of Kroos temporarily but the final entrant may prove to be the biggest threat of all.
Saxon Huxley was in NORTH, making his first UK appearance since dominating in Japan. Huxley entered the ring and murdered everyone in sight, throwing hands and slamming men like it was nothing.
The two biggest monsters in the match faced off in the centre of the ring preparing for a collision that would topple the soundest of building foundations but before Kroos and Huxley could get to the destruction, the third biggest threat, Gene Munny, involved himself. Surprisingly, this was unwise.
Huxley and Kroos joined forces to deliver a double chokeslam to Munny, eliminating a truly dangerous man.
MThe ring started to shake as the two powerhouses collided with Kroos coming out on top, slamming Huxley almost through the canvas.
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make Boisterous Behaviour plus Jordan returned to action with a barrage of super kicks to Kroos but it wasn’t enough to take the big man off his feet. Huxley was back up and hit Kroos with a tremor-inducing chokeslam which was enough to eliminate the Headline.
The Scramble was down to the final four but it was clear the three smaller men had their sights set on the seemingly indestructible monster. Huxley fought off the onslaught of attacks for as long as he could but a 3D from the former tag champions laid out the Destroyer long enough for a three count.
Then there were three: Amir Jordan, Man Like DeReiss and Leon Slater.
Amir Jordan quickly hit a double rolling cutter followed by a dive onto both opponents but this was only good enough for a two count. Jordan went for a rolling cutter once again but this was reversed into a 3D followed by both Slater and DeReiss getting on top for the successful pin.
Roddy Piper in Pittsburg. Bret Hart in Canada. Amir Jordan in Newcastle. This Jordan performance was special and will be remembered as one of the greatest efforts with one of the greatest crowd reactions in NORTH history.
Two competitors remained, the former tag-team champions who have each only ever been pinned once in their time at NORTH. The two shared a handshake before exploding into a frenzy of fast-paced action.
This may have been the Scramble for Thunderstruck but the two fighters were moving as fast as lightning.
DeReiss and Slater knew each other’s move-set well enough to evade most attacks, but the Lyrical Dragon fired up and delivered a spine shattering powerbomb. MLD climbed to the top and hit a picture perfect 450 splash but this was only enough for a two-count.
The crowd chanted ‘friendship’ but the only thing on the mind of either man was winning.
DeReiss went back up top once again but this splash was dodged by the Youngest In Charge who followed up the evasion with a boisterous blue thunder bomb.
Slater followed in the footsteps of his partner by going up top to hit a 450 splash of his own and pinning DeReiss for a three count.
The teenage sensation had fought through seven competitors and had earned the right to become the top champion in NORTH.
The main event of Thunderstruck had now been set. Champion vs Challenger. Veteran vs Youngblood. Slater vs Slater.
